In A World of Sports

So yesterday was one of my favourite days of the year, the NHL trade deadline.  What fun.  In Canada we have three networks with all-day coverage starting at about 8:30 a.m. going all the way up to just past the 3 p.m deadline.  Imagine that.  Last year’s deadline I missed because I was in Australia for school, so I was really looking forward to this year.  In retrospect, what I should have done is wrote down everything as it happened, would have been much better, and that was my plan, but not everything goes according to plan, especially when those plans are mine.  Regardless, I will do my best to relive the magic that was NHL trade deadline day in the next few paragraphs.

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So I woke up late.  I planned on being right with all the networks right from kickoff, but sadly I was up late last night doing nothing at all because that’s my unemployed life so I woke up around 10.  Thank goodness.  There was no action early on anyway, so I tuned in just to witness the first breaking news of the day on the first trade: Bryce Salvador to New Jersery for Cam Janssen going to St. Louis.  Not exactly a blockbuster but it has the guys on TSN a buzz.  Salvador is a depth D-man and Janssen who is a tough guy who really can’t skate.  This being the first trade they are analysing it.  Now they got Janssen on the phone, that’s how big this news is.  Many non-hockey people dont’ really appreciate this enough, NHL trade deadline day is HUGE for us, it’s one of the days that we live for every year, along with our birthdays, and any day that results in a long weekend.  I’m happy to report that Cam Janssen is a pretty funny guy.  This is arguably the first interview he has EVER had and he is handling himself well and cracking jokes.  In hockey usually the biggest assholes on the ice are the most fun, good-natured fellows off the ice, even in all my years playing I never understood this.

I’m devastated, news just broke that Wade Belak has been traded to the Florida Panthers for a 5th rounder.  Why Wade?  Why?  He is the only legit tough guy they have and he wasn’t being used in games where Toronto played teams with pests like Avery which is a mistake, even if Wade doesn’t provide much in the way of skill, he polices the ice.  So this is Cliff Fletcher’s first big move as Leafs interim GM, trading Wade Belak.  After Mats said he wasn’t going anywhere I think Cliff thought to himself “fuck, now what do I do?  I better start making some phone calls”.  My buddy Sachin just called me, he heard the news too, he liked Belak a lot.  Belak isn’t really the guy we needed to move on a day like this, we needed to move Antropov, Ponikerovsky, Wellwood.  I know everyone should go really, like this team should be completely dismantled, but Belak?  Damn.  I asked Sachin if his watching the deadline at work on his computer, he just told me he’s at his house (he just bought a new one with his fiancee who is at work) so he told me to come over and watch the deadline with him….time to relocate.

I just got to Sachin’s and I brought my slippers.  Sachin is my only other true hockey friend that I hang out with on a regular basis.  He is the biggest Leaf fan I have ever met save for my late grandmother, this day could go South in a hurry.  When asked why he isn’t at work today, he reminded me that him and my other friend Donnie went to the Spice Girls concert last night and got absolutely hammered (they got the tickets for free, that’s the only reason they went though I am a bit jealous).  Sachin has a sweet new HD TV and he has TSN, Sportsnet and The Score on “favourites” on his remote control.  I got to Sachin’s just in time too, we have our first big trade to talk about, Brian Campbell to the Sharks for Stever Bernier and a 1st round pick.    I like this trade for both teams.  Campbell was going to walk in the summer because Buffalo wouldn’t give him a longer term contract than 3 years at $6 million per, so they get Bernier, a big young forward and a pick?  Not a bad return instead of getting nothing like they have done recently with the likes of Briere and Drury.  Campbell is a good puck mover on the back end that will help the Sharks particularly on the powerplay, but he isn’t worth the money and term he’s asking.  Dan Boyle just signed a big contract yesterday and Campbell’s will look similar, both guys are good, but not $6.5 million good.  The NHL is starting to hand out massive contracts again WAY too soon.  I smell a lockout coming….

The guys on the networks have barely been given enough time to wrap their heads around these trades when the next blockbuster comes in, Brad Richards is going to Dallas.  That’s huge.  The guys on TV are losing their minds.  Everybody should watch draft day, it’s too funny.  If you were to ask me whose coverage I like most to least?  I’d say TSN, followed by Sportsnet, and then The Score.  TSN has some great characters on it, like Pierre McGuire, who cracks me up sometimes when he talks about his “monsters” of the game.  Sportsnet has decent coverage too, but they have Bill Watters, who on this particular day has decided to wear really tight jeans, really tight jeans.  Bill is also sitting just high enough in his sit that said jeans are very visible.  I also put very little value into what Mr. Watters has to say, his hockey knowledge isn’t exactly top-notch.  As for The Score, we think that they just watch TSN and Sportsnet to find out what trades are being done.  The Score does have Steve Ludzik though, he is hilarious to listen to, honestly, I watch The Score’s highlights when he does them with Steve Kouleas (who somehow got a show called Hockey Talk) just to see Ludzik.  Ludzik is the saving grace of The Score’s NHL deadline day coverage.

Sachin and I are spending most of our time on TSN.  We have decided that unless TSN confirms it, no trade reported by anyone else is official.  Oh man, TSN has “The Reporters” on their deadline coverage.  They mostly sit behind the main panel but you catch glimpses of them often.  They consist of Damien Cox, Steven Simmons, Michael Farber, and Dave Hodge.  When their segment gets on Sachin changes the channel, we have decided we don’t like to listen to this group much, but it is fun to spot them in the background, barely talking or even looking at each other when they aren’t on the air.  Simmons taps the desk incessantly in the background, it’s driving me crazy.

Holy crap, Montreal made their first trade and it’s not what anyone expected.  Cristobal Huet is heading to Washington, who now has 3 goalies, for a 2nd round pick.  No one can fathom this trade.  Everyone at TSN is cursing the move, saying Price isn’t ready.  I don’t think this team is ready anyway.  Sure with a nice Marian Hossa or Olli Jokinen addition they can come out of the East (maybe even without those guys), but they will get demolished by a Western team, most East teams will in the Stanley Cup finals unless the Western team is completely warn out from playing all the other Western powers.  How come no one likes this trade?  Huet is an UFA at the end of the year, they weren’t going to sign him for the money he’s going to want so they got a pick in return for him.  Sure they could have gotten more but maybe this pick is just a piece to to a Hossa package?  I can’t believe no one has thought of this yet, I’m wathcing stunned that McGuire hasn’t said what I’m thinking.  Besides, I have no Cristobal, but I foresee Price playing well downt the stretch….get it?  Cristobal….crystal ball…

Sachin just handed me a beer.  The day is about to get a bit more interesting. 

A few more trades have happened, everyone is buzzing on TV.  NHL trade deadline day is full of so much excitement during certain periods, but when there aren’t any trades to report they just track people down and interview them.  Like Brian Campbell who is sad today.  He is almost crying and the cameraman is sporadically zooming in on his facing to try and catch a tear.  I don’t understand why some athletes get like this when they’re traded.  They get sad for being traded, and act like it’s out of their hands when it’s not.  I understand that leaving your teammates and the city can be jarring, but getting upset?  Come on, it’s the nature of the business, and you get paid millions of dollars to live with this potential dilemma.  Here’s a solution:  Accept a contract that is good for both yourself and the club, which sets you up for life but allows the team to still pay other good players so that you can maybe win a championship.  Gee Sean, that’s a novle idea.  And when the athlete is trade they say all the right things, like “I loved the fans, the city, the organisation, but sometimes things just don’t work” and they get all upset, and sometimes cry.  Hockey players are notorious for this.  At least Brian Campbell just said “sometimes you have to look out for #1″ as in, ”I’m in a contract year and I want as much money as possible, no matter where I go, even if it is to a team that doesn’t stand a chance at winning”.  Someone will overpay this guy.  He will get a very similar contract to Dan Boyle’s. 

Sachin and I have to head out on a beer run.  We don’t have many left and we have decided to make this NHL trade deadline day our personal best ever.  

We bought a 2-4 of President’s Choice Pilsener, and it’s not bad.  Maybe that’s the 4 previous beers talking but for a buck-a-beer this stuff is pretty good.

Adam Foote just went to Colorado.  This is interesting.  First of all, Columbus didn’t land Brad Richards like they wanted to now they are dismantling the team….this is sad for Columbus because the fans are pretty good there and they deserve to make the playoffs even though they’ll get blown out in the first round unless Leclaire plays out of his mind.  This trade is also interesting because now we have Foote and Forsberg returning to the mountains.  If they can get Blake too (they won’t be just imagine that) and convince Claude Lemieux to come out of retirement this team will win it all this year just on the feel-good nature of the story.  It’s almost the Avs of 2001. 

Oh ya, did I mention Ottawa got Martin Lapointe?  No?  Geez, I don’t know how I missed that one.  That’s a huge trade….now Ottawa has picked up Commodore, Stillman, and Lapointe to help them win the Cup this year.  Ottawa is not coming out of the East, I’m telling you that now.  They still only have the one line that somehow got them to the finals last year but it’s not enough this year.  Ottawa is going nowhere and lately they have been playing pretty damn poorly.  The hockey pundits on TV love this trade for Lapointe.  They are saying he’ll straighten out that dressing room and be a good leader.  I don’t see him making nearly enough of a dressing room impact over the last 20 games of the season to save this hockey team.  Sorry Ottawa, unless they get better in the next 2 hours your team is going nowhere.

This beer is tasting better and better.

Toronto made it’s second big trade right before the deadline, Hal Gill to Pittsburgh for a 2nd and 5th round picks.  This is why they brought in a really connected guy like Cliff Fletcher, to make big trade like this.  I could have made this trade.  Except I would have tried to ship him to a Detroit or someone else who needs defensive depth (because Detroit D keep getting hurt and for no other reason do they need help on the back end) in the West to prevent Hal Gill from rubbing out my small forwards on the forecheck for the next couple of years.  (Case in point, Detroit acquired Brad Stuart later in the day for a 2nd and 4th round picks).

Here we go, another big fish is on the move.  Except not to a team everyone was expecting.  Marian Hossa is going to Pittsburgh, not Montreal or Ottawa.  Shit.  I wanted Montreal to get him, but based on what Atlanta got back, Bob Gainey deemed the price too high.  Atlanta gets Angelo Esposito, Colby Armstrong, Erik Christenssen, and a 1st round pick for what will amont to be a rental.  Wow.  Kudos to Pittsburgh for making such a ballsy move but that’s a high price to pay for Hossa who they won’t be able to afford to keep around beyond this year.  But that is a strong top 2 lines for the Penguins.  Crosby and Hossa on the top line with absolutely anyone they want, and keep the Malkin-Sykora-Malone line intact.  That’s a dynamite 1-2 punch if it all works out.  If they keep getting good or great goaltending, you have to like their chances of winning the East.

Sachin and I have now finished about our 10th beer each.  We are delirious with all the deadline day action and have had a great time making fun of all the analysts on TV and picking our favourite and least personalities.  What a day.  The Leafs also made one last deal, Chad Kilger for a 3rd rounder.  So Cliff didn’t really do much on this day.  Interesting.  Now the Leafs will play well down the stretch like they always do and either just miss, or just squeak into the playoffs like they are famous for the last few years (it’s hard to believe that this team is only 4 years removed from a 103 point season, which is a team record).

It’s amazing to me that trades will be reported even hours after the deadline.  Never the really big ones, always minor trades, but I mean we’ll hear about new trades as late as 6 o’clock tonight, three hours after the deadline.

Oh. My. Gosh.  Cliff Fletcher just had a press conference and Sachin can barely lift his drunk jaw off the floor.  Cliff is not a happy man.  He was out there taking shots and everyone and their mother.  For the record, Cliff is an old man and sometimes old men have lapses in judgement and get grumpy when they are tired and snap at people.  My grandpa does this sometimes to his daughters (my mother and aunts) without really meaning to; That’s old people for you.  Cliff though, he was swinging at everybody.  He took a shot at Kubina, John Ferguson Jr., McCabe, and Sundin all in the span of 10 minutes.  There may have been more but I’m pretty fucking drunk at this point.  Wow.  More evidence to suggest Cliff isn’t all up there is that he said this franchise needs to start somewhere and guys like Toskala and Antropov will be the building blocks.  Toskala is a pretty damn good goalie, I don’t mind the Leafs keeping him but he and Mats screw up their chances at good draft position which is what they need to do starting now.  If they truly want to rebuild, even Toskala must go.  Antropov?  Without Sundin he is a 3rd line guy, maybe a 2nd.  Ofcourse in Toronto he is a #1 line winger.  And if Cliff means what he said, then you have to expect Sundin isn’t going to be back next year, “I promise you that next year’s team will have a new face”.  That probably isn’t actually a direct quote because I’m trashed.  But the “face” of the Leafs is Sundin, that’s how mad Cliff is.  This press conference was a mistake.

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So that’s the best I could do.  Next year I’m going to write it as it happens.  I forgot entirely way too many good jokes we made and funny things that happened.  The alcohol will have to be included next year as well.  Sachin and I will look to made NHL Trade Dealine Day a sick day for the rest of our lives, at least until Canada makes it a national holiday which is only a few years away.

The rest of Sachin’s and my day/night consisted of us playing NHL 2008 on his PS3 as Team Canada in an international tournament which we suck at.  New sports games are beyond me.  For hockey all I do is one-time the puck and hit the hell out of people.  Sachin decided to turn penalties off because last time we played we were short-handed 80% of the time because of how I play.  I will dominate anyone in a hockey game up to NHL 2002, but the last few years it’s become too technical.  I still have fun, but my gameplan is too simple and my weaknesses are exposed.

After NHL we rocked pretty hard on Guitar Hero 3.  We did this until 2 a.m. or so when Sachin and I decided that after a long, hard day like the trade deadline and 17 or so beers each (we drank the 2-4 and the beers Sachin already had) it was time for bed. 

Until next year.